Like a lot of people, I’ve been doing a ton of video conferencing with work. And through it, I’ve met a lot of people in other offices. One of my co-workers is in a different city and I’ve fallen for him big time. I know this is crazy. I don’t really know him. But I think about him all the time! I think of ways to communicate with him and want to make plans to see him. (He has no idea of my feelings). Is the quarantine affecting my judgement? Am I just desperate? How do I proceed?

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Let’s start by saying that quarantine is probably affecting the judgement of most everyone. A large part of the population isn’t accustomed to being home all of the time with no social outlet. Are you seeing other people in any way during the quarantine? Have you maintained friendships or dating relationships? I don’t necessarily think you are desperate, though you might truly be desperate for socialization like many of us are at this point. That doesn’t have to mean your interest in this coworker isn’t real. This quarantine could have just been the opportunity you needed to meet someone you otherwise wouldn’t have met.

How to proceed... Could you possibly have a conversation with him about something other than work? I would highly recommend you get to know him on a slightly less professional level before putting too much stock into this potential love interest. Are you willing to make the first move? If he has no clue about your feelings, you WILL be the one to do this. I applaud women who take control and make that first move, but make sure you are prepared for all possible outcomes. Have you considered the intricacies of a long-distance relationship if he reciprocates your feelings? These are very important aspects to consider given the situation. If he doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, can you keep things professional, and not let emotions get in the way of the working relationship? The complications of dating a coworker can sometimes be more trouble than they are worth. Sometimes crushes are meant to be just that and nothing more. All of these are things to consider before you decide on making that first move!

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Writer, Speaker, Radio & Television Contributor, Dr. Misty Smith is the Founder and Managing Director of the Birmingham, Alabama-based Mind, Body & Heart Wellness Clinic. She is an ASSECT nationally recognized Certified Sex Therapist (CST), as well as a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) of more than 15 years, who focuses on assisting individuals and couples to achieve their optimal emotional, relational, and sexual health through a results-oriented counseling process tailored to the needs of the individual or couple. In addition to being ASSECT Certified, Dr. Misty has a PhD in Counselor Education from Mississippi State University and her EdS in Counseling from the University of Alabama. She can be reached by email at mistysmithphd@mbhwellnessclinic.com or mbhwellnessclinic.com.
The advice offered in this column is intended for informational purposes only. Use of this column not intended to replace or substitute for any professional, financial, medical, or legal advice. If you have specific concerns or situations requiring professional, psychological or medical help, you should consult with an appropriately qualified individual. The opinions or views expressed in this column are not intended to treat, diagnose, or replace the treatment and care that you may be receiving from another licensed professional. This column, its author, and the publisher are not responsible for the outcome or results of following any advice in any given situation addressed. You, and only you, are completely responsible for your actions.